one month of Mommyhood

Ever since having Everly, I am constantly hearing the same questions: "how are you doing? how is she sleeping and eating? how is Motherhood treating you? how are Jordan and Paisley adjusting?" It seems like everyone is always wanting to know the latest and then when I answer, they look at me with a raised eyebrow and surprised look on their face. When I answer them, "I'm doing great and feeling awesome! Everly sleeps almost 4-5 hours at a time usually and she eats like a rockstar. Jordan helps with nightly feedings on the weekends and after school...and Paisley is still crazy but just sniffs Everly, lays on her blankets, and doesn't ever try to bother Everly. I think they'll be fast friends and will get into lots of trouble together" it's like they are really surprised, think I'm totally full of it, or look at me like I'm delirious from lack of sleep and living in a dreamworld! So as I think back to the first month of Everly's life, I definitely realize that I am in fact not living in a dreamworld, but I am lucky that we are all living the way we are. 

This first month has went by incredibly fast - and doesn't everyone always say that, to enjoy them when they're young because they grow up way too fast?! And it's true. I can't believe Everly is already a month old! This month has been nothing short of emotional, overwhelming, incredible, challenging, inspiring, and more all at the same time. I am constantly learning something new about either myself, Jordan, or Everly, and how we all work together as one family unit. Everyone also always says how much your life will change once you have a baby and that is definitely true but I have been pretty surprised so far at how much it hasn't changed yet. Before Everly was born, I always envisioned Jordan and I walking around as zombies, never leaving the house, living off of take-out meals, not watching our shows, and just living a complete 360-different life than what we had been living. The changes that have happened because of Everly joining our family are all worth it, some expected and some unexpected, but definitely worth it. In one month, in the blink of our eyes, I've learned that there's nothing more exhilarating and terrifying than becoming a parent for the first time.

1. I will always be on Everly's side and her biggest supporter - I quickly learned while staying with Everly in the NICU that there is nothing more important than standing up for your own child, giving them a voice, and fighting for them. There were some nurses, physicians, and other hospital staff that would want do to things one way and I would say we are doing it another way that I knew would be more beneficial and helpful to her. I had to stand up for her to several hospital staff members and make sure things were done in a way that would make her feel safe and comforted. It's because of all of this, that I know now if you don't support your child and fight for them, then no one will. So Everly can always count on me to be there for her.

2. I can function off of very little sleep - At times I feel like I have reverted back to my undergrad days when I would stay up until 2 or 3 in the morning and then go a whole day on 4-5 hours of sleep. I don't walk around feeling like a zombie and Jordan and I still make time to watch our TV shows together...if it wasn't for his help and help from my parents, I might be a zombie though! We are lucky to have a baby who is a good sleeper and gives us 3-5 hours at a time of sleeping so we can sneak in a shower, some chores, a nap, or just time to sleep the whole time while she does!

3. It's important to be present in the moment - It's easy to get sucked into something and completely absorbed by a TV show, surfing the internet, playing games on a cell phone, or whatever else it might be...that it's easy to not let yourself be present. I used to spend hours each night clicking between Facebook, Pinterest, baby blogs, and various other websites and now that Everly is here, I find myself opening my computer maybe two or three times in a week total. I don't sit on the couch anymore with my phone or computer reading different things...instead I'm sitting on the couch, while feeding Everly or snuggling with her, and I find myself just staring at her, playing with her fingers, rubbing her cheeks, running my fingers over her head and hair, and just getting lost in her. When I do get on my computer or phone, it's usually very brief (have to keep my blog and Facebook up to date with pictures and everything for people!) and then I find myself reading articles about babies or finding the next craft project I can do with Everly. I know too many parents who have lost their babies...time with our kids is too precious and something that can't be taken for granted. 

4. I need my mom - Plain and simple, I never knew how much I needed my own mom until I became one myself. Not only that, but I have a huge new found respect for all mom's out there. If my mom wasn't living here with us, I am pretty sure that I would probably call her everyday and some days probably more than once! She has helped me out in countless ways right from the beginning of the pregnancy to the first few hours after Everly was born. She has given me advice, suggestions, and constant love and support at all times, and often times before I even ask for it. I feel comfortable asking her anything and she doesn't make me feel stupid or inferior. She has helped me to gain confidence in my skills as I become a mother and I'd be lost without her by my side through this journey. There's nothing like a mom's loving and I'm thankful to have an awesome one in my life and can only hope to become the same kind of mom to Everly. My mom is one of my closest friends and I hope that when Everly is my age, she can say the same thing about the two of us. 

5. Jordan and I aren't perfect parents (or people) but we are the perfect parents for Everly - Jordan and I have quickly learned from each other that we do things different from one another when it comes to taking care of Everly and I have had to learn that it is okay. As long as she gets fed, changed, has a clean diaper on, get some loving and snuggling, then it doesn't matter how it gets done. I had a head start on bonding with Everly for close to 8 months before she was born so Jordan has had to play catch up. I have had to learn to become even more patient with Jordan as he navigates his way through becoming a dad and working together with him as parents and as a the husband and wife team that we are. I love watching him connect with Everly and just in a month, I have seen him gain confidence when it comes to holding her and taking care of her. And I know there have been times where he has seen me not be fully prepared for something or not react quick enough and that's okay too. We both know we aren't perfect and we are both there for each other, even in the middle of the night when we wish all three of us were sleeping, but I wouldn't choose anyone else to go through this adventure of parenthood besides Jordan. He's the perfect husband for me and the perfect daddy for Everly.


I'm sure I could go on and on about what I have learned, what's different, what's the best and worst part of parenthood, and advice for future parents out there. But I have a beautiful baby and husband to snuggle up with for the night. But the more I think about it, the more things I realize that I have learned and discovered in the past month. Some things have changed and some things have stayed the same. A new chapter of our lives together has started and as we are closing in on month one, it sure has been a beautiful one. We have a new normal as a family of three (plus one crazy fur baby!) and we will make the most of our time together and love every minute of it. And maybe that's the most important thing I've learned in the past month: if you don't make time for those you love, then you can't be mad when it slips away. So make time for one more kiss. One more hug. One more book to read at night. One more snuggle. One more "I love you." And this past month has been full of nothing but love for us. And for that, I am forever thankful.

surprising (to me at least!) things about having a baby...

I'm a huge researcher. And worrier. And I'll just throw this out there, Google is not my friend when I have any sort of aliment. Therefore, I try to read anything and everything I can to know anything and everything about whatever I am wondering about. Before I had Everly, I was always flipping through a baby book - sidebar: thanks but no thanks for the advice What To Expect When You're Expecting...you should be titled What to Expect But Will Not Happen and Instead You'll Waste Precious Time and Energy Worrying About The Worst Case Scenarios When You're Expecting (and I digress. The book has some good info. But it was not THE book I would say every pregnant woman should read. There are several out there that are way better!) So if I wasn't flipping through a book, I was browsing websites and blogs or always asking friends questions about labor, recovery, baby items, and just baby stuff in general. I wanted to know everything because I hate the unknown. Because quite frankly, after our childbirth class, the thought of delivering a baby terrified me. I felt informed but still nervous. Thankfully, I survived to tell the tale and am happy to report that I was pleasantly surprised with how well I handled everything especially since we were thrown into the whirlwind by Everly deciding to arrive six weeks early...

1. the return to pre-pregnancy weight and size: I read several articles, talked to a lot of friends, and saw plenty of post-baby pictures (both at the hospital and of families at home) that led me to believe it would be weeks, possibly months, before I would be wearing pants with zippers again let alone my own pre-pregnancy pants with zippers. Of course, the first few days at the hospital after having Everly and when I stayed there in the NICU with her, I lived in yoga pants and sweats. Comfort is key those first few days - especially when hanging out in the hospital. But imagine my surprise when I got brave and tried on a pair of skinny jeans I had (because as I told Jordan, "I just want to see how much work I have cut out for me...") and they fit. Not only fit, but fit comfortably! I stepped on the scale for the first time a week after Everly was born and was only 9 pounds away from my pre-pregnancy weight and a month after, I am back down to my pre-pregnancy weight. It helped how in shape and toned I was before getting pregnant combined with how active I was while pregnant. I walked EVERYDAY no less than 5 miles and some days up to 8 miles. I never let being pregnant be an excuse from staying active and I always let it be an excuse to eat extra fruits and vegetables. I will definitely be rocking my two-piece swim suit still next summer! 

2. stretch marks: speaking of two-piece swim suits, stretch marks are a funny thing and they say a lot of it is based on genetics. If you're wondering if you'll get them, ask your mom. Typically, "they" (whoever "they" are anyway) say that no amount of lotion or creams or fancy clothes or whatever will keep stretch marks away...the lotion and cream will just help your skin to feel moisturized and not make it as itchy. So of course I turned to my mom who said she got stretch marks and still has them so I was fully prepared to get them myself. I lotioned myself up morning and night anyway with cocoa butter and never got even the smallest hint of a stretch mark. Of course, I'm sure this would be a different story if I had gone full-term with Everly because I could tell my skin and stomach were feeling pretty tight those last few days. So I'll be interested to see if I make it stretch mark free the next time I'm pregnant.. But to those women that did get stretch marks, embrace them because you created a life and lived through it. And that is a beautiful thing. 

3. the epidural: I had always told myself and Jordan, "I'm not going into the hospital or labor and getting an epidural right away. I'm going to try and last as long as I can without one and maybe do the whole thing without it entirely." Jordan was fully prepared to help me through labor thanks to the techniques and everything we had learned from our class and I had some breathing/relaxation techniques for myself to work through while contracting. Thankfully, when we got to the hospital I was already 4cm dilated and my labor progressed so quickly, that by the time I was ready to start dropping F bombs and was ready to throw in the towel, I was almost 7cm dilated when I finally caved and asked for the epidural. And honestly, contracting while trying to hold still and stay in the "curled shrimp shape" was significantly worse than the actual needle and epidural placement itself. I was more focused on holding still and breathing so the doctor could get it over with so I could get back up and have some water then catch my breath.

4. labor pains: Like I've said, I was one of the lucky ones who had a very quick labor and who went to the hospital already in active labor. I didn't have to be induced or hooked up to an IV and monitors allllll day, or have any interventions to help my labor progress. Contractions are painful, yes. But Jordan and my midwife helped talk me through them and would remind me, "just take it one contraction at a time." Between each one, I would try to relax and drink some water....and not stare at the monitor in anticipation of the next one coming. Once it came time to push, my adrenaline definitely took over combined with the epidural's help, because I mainly only felt a lot of pressure like I was going to poop on the table (and thankfully, I didn't haha). I didn't have any sort of shot or extra numbing "down there" either so maybe I have a higher pain tolerance than I thought. And it helps that Everly was head down and had been since about 28 weeks so she was already locked and loaded in prime birthing position and her small size helped as well. 

5. bleeding: yes, there will be blood. But not in the amounts that the books and blogs that I had read made it seem like. I was expecting a lot more honestly, like in the amount that I'd wonder if I even had any left in my body, so I was surprised at how it really wasn't that bad or that much. Just like a really heavy period for the first day or two, for me at least, and then just a normal spotty period after that for about 7-10 days. I didn't have to wear the gigantic middle school style maxi pads for long which was a plus because it isn't very enjoyable to feel (and sound!) like you're wearing a diaper yourself while taking care of your own baby...

6. after labor pains: again, thanks to the reading and research I did, I had prepared myself for the worst and thought I would be walking bow-legged and not able to sit comfortably for weeks. Turns out I was up walking around, hugging people, and laughing like normal within 2 hours after having Everly. The worst pain was the cramping while breastfeeding and pumping. I had been warned about that but didn't expect it to be that bad but it was still bearable...I had been told it was a "good sign" if you were crampy while breastfeeding and that would help the uterus to go down to it's regular size quicker. The little squirt water bottle and witch hazel pads the hospital supplied me with were also a huge help. Along with the pain meds my nurse gave me. I only took them (tylenol and ibuprofen) for the first 3-4 days after delivery and then didn't have any after that. I'd say I bounced back quicker than I thought I would but I think a part of that had to do with living in the NICU with Everly and that I had mentally blocked out my own pain because I needed to be mentally present and physically aware of her needs and helping her get home sooner that I didn't have time to "be in pain and recover." I was definitely uncomfortable at times those first few days but seeing my baby and holding her really makes it all go away and worth it all like everyone always says. 

7. breastfeeding: I was signed up to take a breastfeeding class the second week of September...obviously Jordan and I didn't make it to that. So I was all sorts of nervous about breastfeeding because that was one of the things I hadn't done much reading or researching on yet since I figured we would have the class to get information from! Thankfully, I had some awesome nurses that gave me all sorts of advices, tips, and support those first few days. Everly latched on right away and we haven't looked back. It is a weird feeling but not a painful one...but it is a really awesome feeling looking at my baby and knowing that she is gaining weight because of me and the milk I'm providing for her. It is crazy to think that's all she is eating and how much I am helping her out by giving her breast milk!

8. engorgement: speaking of breastfeeding, engorgement is no joke. While at the hospital, they recommended I pump every 3-4 hours to help increase my supply and to give stimulation to encourage a good supply. I remember the first few days only pumping 10-15mL total and thinking I had accomplished a lot...then one morning, I woke up with rock hard boobs. And pumped almost 3oz total. And now I look back on that and laugh because there are times in a day now when I can pump 12oz total and yes that is in one sitting! My family jokes that I am a human milk machine and I'm starting to believe it...in less than 6 weeks, I have over 400oz of frozen breast milk stored and ready for when I go back to my internship. Thankfully, the initial engorgement period doesn't last for long and I get why some women give up on breastfeeding then and there. Because that makes it hurt! But it only ever hurts and feels like that now if I go too long between feedings or pumping without doing something about it...which means it's usually time to feed or pump again. If Everly doesn't wake up crying and ready to eat, then my boobs wake me up saying it's time to eat or pump!

9. going with the flow of (unplanned) things: I like to consider myself a huge planner. I like to have things lined up, ready to go, and be organized. And no matter how much you can plan for your baby's birth, you can't plan for the unexpected. Babies come when they are ready to, and that can mean a few weeks early, right on time, or even a week late. Usually if they're an early arrival, that means (in our case at least), that some decisions that have to be made at the hospital haven't really been decided upon or made yet. Like, do to the eye cream or to not do the eye cream? To delay cord clamping for 2 minutes or clamp right away? To have the baby get the Vitamin K shot right away or wait 24 hours? There are a lot of important decisions that parents have to make for their baby shortly after delivery and if the decisions aren't made by the parents, then the medical staff will make those decisions for the parent and baby. Since Everly was taken to the NICU within 10 minutes after she was born, Jordan and I didn't have the option to make a lot of choices. I had wanted to do delay cord clamping but since she was born so early and was small, we didn't have that option. I didn't want to do the eye cream right away but since she was in the NICU (and we didn't clarify a few things ahead of time), the nurses did that and gave her antibiotics right away anyway. And all of that was okay with me. Because at that moment, I trusted our medical team and that they were making the best decisions for my baby when I wasn't there to make those decisions for her. I learned quickly in those first few days that when it comes to having a baby, you have to just go with the flow of the unplanned things and trust that everything will have a way of working itself out for the best. 

10. the instant love I felt when I first saw Everly: in one word, it was indescribable. I couldn't even cry because I felt so overwhelmed with love, happiness, and joy. It took a few minutes for the tears which even surprised me, but they were the happiest tears I have ever cried. I have never felt more proud to say, "it's a girl!" and to look at Jordan and tell him he has a daughter. Those first few moments the three of us had together will forever be in my memory and one that no one or nothing can ever take away. I didn't ever know I could feel a love like this until now. It's like a part of me and my heart had never been touched and now it is open and overflowing with love and happiness. I could just stare at her all day long in between snuggling and loving on her. Everly is the greatest thing I have ever created and she is the biggest blessing in our lives. Everything in the post, the good, the bad, and the ugly (and painful), was 100% worth it all. Because at the end of it all, we have an incredibly beautiful and strong, healthy baby girl. 

our Hawkeye Family

It's Game Day for the Hawks! So that means one thing... we are all bleeding Black and Gold! Everly looks good in Hawk gear! She's the cutest little Iowa fan that I know and love!

happy to be a Hawkeye! 

touchdown Iowa!

love our Hawkeye family

starting her early and teaching her all about football

snuggling with both my girls...
I don't know who is more tired: Everly or Paisley?!

Paisley's thinking, "this whole baby thing is exhausting..."

settling in....

It's been almost a full week since we have all been home from the hospital together and we are slowly getting settled in and figuring out our "new normal." Since Everly is home on oxygen that makes our "new normal" a little bit different than it will be permanently. We still have the oxygen tube and monitor cord to be cautious and aware of so getting her up and down stairs takes some planning to make sure we don't get tangled in any cords, leave one of the oxygen tanks open, and unplug the monitor before trying to go in the opposite direction. Everly has been an awesome baby so far at home. She has stayed on the NICU schedule so far so she is up every 3-4 hours to eat, stays awake for 20-30 minutes, and then falls back asleep. She rarely cries and only fusses when she's hungry so she's pretty easy going...I think she could snuggle all day if Jordan and I let her! Actually, I'd love to snuggle with her all day but get nervous if I start falling asleep or if Jordan starts falling asleep because I'm paranoid like that and don't want something to happen to her. Jordan has stepped up into his new role as Mr. Dad and helps with diaper changes without being asked and does the nightly bottle feeding so I can sneak in some extra sleep! The past week has been quite the whirlwind and I'm so sad that it's Jordan's last night home with us before he goes back to teaching this week...time has flown by!!

And in other exciting news, my parents are officially back in Iowa for good! They got here on Friday and have made themselves welcome in our home and will be living with us until they find a house of their own. I'm pretty excited to have my mom around to help me out with Everly, organizing and decorating our house, and she'll be here to give me more advice and support as I navigate my way into motherhood. Definitely feeling pretty thankful that my parents were able to sell their house in Texas and my dad got his new job when he did! I'm so happy they are back in the midwest and especially happy that they are so close to us!

home.

   

We are all.... HOME!!! Finally, after 16 of the longest most emotionally challenging days of my life, we are all home and happy. My heart and mind can rest easy now with Jordan by my side, Everly in my arms, and Paisley by my feet because we are all together. There's nothing like relaxing in the comforts of our own home on the couch with a movie on and no nurses coming and going and no alarms always going off! Everly is home on oxygen for now and we have an appointment the first week of October to see if she can get it taken off but we are okay with that because the most important thing is we got to bring our baby home. Ahhh finally, I can breathe a huge sigh of relief.... home sweet home!

life in the NICU for 2 weeks

Everly is two weeks old today! Which means that her and I have both been living in the NICU now for two weeks...and what a change of perception it has been for me staying here and caring for my daughter, a NICU preemie baby. Just three weeks ago, I was interning with the Child Life staff and I was handing out massage coupons and Chili's giftcards to families and kids. Just six weeks ago, I was helping lead Parent Support group in the NICU and I was talking to mom's about their experiences at the hospital and what we could do/not do differently to help them out. And now, here I am. I'm getting massage coupons almost daily and we have received a few Chili's gift certificates so Jordan and I can enjoy a nice meal together. And I have attended a NICU Parent Support group where I decorated some onesies with my mom along with other NICU mom's and I got to hear their stories. One mom had her baby at 25 weeks while another mom had her baby at 29 weeks. And here I have been scared day in and praying every minute for Everly to get stronger when I know we will get to bring her home in a matter of days. These moms I met are praying for survival for their babies. They didn't get to hold their babies until they were 3-5 weeks old and I got to hold Everly before she was even 3 minutes old. They don't get to breastfeed their babies because they're too fragile and weak to even attempt that. I got to breastfeed Everly within a few hours after she was born... I never thought my birth plan and path with cross over with the NICU. I never could have imagined meeting the moms and nurses I have met through Everly's stay here. And I never realized how thankful it would make me feel because I know we are some of the lucky ones here. We are pretty dang lucky. 

The past two weeks have been nothing short of emotional and this is easily the biggest rollercoaster of emotions that I have ever been on. I have only left the hospital a total of five times since Everly was born and a lot of that was out of fear and guilt. What if something happened when I left and I wasn't there to comfort her? What if I could have prevented something from happening if I stayed? What if the nurses are busy and can't hold her and soothe her with soft words and kisses? Some days, I don't even like to leave her room just to go to the cafeteria to get some food... The nurses here are incredible and the doctors are very patient with me. They always take the time to explain everything, answer any of my questions, and help comfort me when they can see the fear in my eyes and tears balancing on my eyelids. I have to trust the care of my daughter and what's best for her to them. And that is pretty hard to do. Actually, sometimes, it's nearly impossible because all I want to do is bring her home. And some of the nurses have gotten too comfortable with the fact that I am here ALL the time. The nurses all work 12-hour shifts from 7am-7pm and then a new one comes in for the 7pm-7am shift. A few times, it will be 11:30am and I still haven't seen our day nurse yet one single time...I can't help but wonder what she has been doing for the past 4 1/2 hours besides checking in on my baby just once?! What if I hadn't been in the room when they thought I was? I do nearly 100% of Everly's cares which I'm thankful I get to do. I know not every NICU parent gets that chance or even that option so I will take any form of control and independence and normalcy that I can get. But man, nothing is more stressful, frustrating, and scary when it's 4+ hours into a nurses shift and I haven't even seen her once yet. And they wonder why I don't leave Everly's room often and when I do, it is for a very limited amount of time!

Today was the day we were planning to bring Everly home as a family and unfortunately that didn't happen. She had to do a "car seat test" because she was born before 37 weeks AND she is less than 2500 grams (5 1/2 pounds) so she automatically qualified to be required to pass the test before she could be discharged. Basically, she had to be buckled into her car seat for 90 minutes and sit in it without desaturating her oxygen levels at all... and because she is so little, she got so cozy and then scrunched down so she ended up being chin-to-chest. And well, obviously it's pretty hard to breathe when you're strapped into a car seat and are sitting chin-to-chest so her oxygen levels kept fluctuating too much and dipped too low. To say I was disappointed would be an understatement....it took all I had in me to not start bawling in front of the nurse when she was telling us we wouldn't be getting discharged and as soon as she left the room, uncontrollable sobs came over me. Now there is talk of us being able to go home on Monday with her on oxygen for 2-3 weeks which I am more than happy to do. The doctor says it is a developmental thing that she will outgrow with time as she gets closer to being "full-term" and closer to her due date. So it's a relief that it is nothing serious or permanent by any means...just a minor setback. Oxygen at home will be nothing as long as it means that we all get to be home as a family!

I have never missed home more than I have until these past two weeks. The first few nights here when Jordan would leave, I would find myself standing by Everly's isolete or crib, just staring at her and crying. Thankfully the tears aren't an every night ordeal now but having my family in two different places at night is incredibly hard. But Jordan is always quick to remind me that Everly is at one of the best NICU's in the nation and home is only 12 minutes away. So, like with many other things I've come to realize with being a NICU parent, I count my blessings considering the fact that home is less than 20 minutes away, Jordan and I are able to see each other still everyday, and I've gotten to see Paisley a few times here and there when I do leave the hospital. That doesn't make it any easier when I want to be in two different places at the same time but it sure as heck makes it more bearable. I will never forget those feelings and emotions that I was trying to process the day I got discharged from the hospital and when Jordan and I left Everly's room to make a trip home to regroup and get some things for me so I could come back because I knew I would be staying the night with her. The thought of us having a two-day hospital stay and leaving with a beautiful baby and balloons and celebrating were completely out the window.... I would never wish upon anyone the feelings and thoughts that we had when we were walking to the car without our baby and knowing that we were leaving her in the hospital by herself. Every time I leave the hospital without her, I get those feelings all over again... I can't wait until we both break free from this place together, as a family, and when she can come home with me and Jordan. We are excited to figure out our "new normal" as a family of four and I can't wait to close this chapter in our lives and her baby book and watch her accomplish many milestones in the future! Here's to hoping that we are all home together as a family and relaxing on the couch by Monday night! 

happy birthday to me - it's moving day!

Whoo hoo Happy 26th Birthday to me today!! And it was moving day for me, Jordan, and Paisley which makes it that much more exciting! Since I'm a little too pregnant to be doing the loading/unloading and moving things around, I mostly directed where all of our things should go and unpacked some boxes as they were brought in. Turns out we have A TON of stuff for only being two people, wow! Now we are surrounded with boxes and bags everywhere but at least we finally have a place to call home! And more importantly, a place where we will bring our sweet baby home to and watch Peanut grow up for the first year! Hopefully we can get lots of unpacking and organizing done over the next few days but for now, I'm calling it a night! What a successful day of moving!

the search is finally over!

whoo whoo!! As of next Sunday, Jordan and I, along with Paisley and Peanut, will officially have a new place to call home!!! We found a beautiful townhouse that is available now that we get to move into on Sunday and I can't wait! I am definitely ready to start getting settled into a place of our own and I am sooo excited to get Peanut's nursery all set up! It's been quite the crazy last few weeks and we will have had three different addresses in the past three weeks but I am ready for our own little home sweet home!

25 weeks

25 weeks update: well I'm starting to feel bigger each day and I know I still have quite a ways to go...Jordan always reassures me that I am in fact not that big and also adds "the pictures make your bump look bigger than it really is." He's such a great husband and knows just what to say! I am still stretch mark free and am hoping to ride that out for as long as I can so I've been covering my body is lotion every morning and every night! I know they say stretch marks are more of a genetic thing and I know my mom got some when she was pregnant...but I can still hope that maybe my skin has more elasticity! Either way, I will be happy with a healthy full-term baby! I have been feeling really good minus some serious round ligament pain on my right side. Thankfully it has only been on my right side and only flairs up when I am sitting for a long period of time. This helps encourage me to stay active and keep moving to avoid the pains that's for sure! It doesn't last long either so that's a big plus. Sleeping is still comfortable as long as I have my cocoon of pillows surrounding me! Between all of the pillows, myself, and Paisley in the bed, Jordan jokes that his space is getting limited by the night! I also joke that I'm more comfortable when I nap in the recliner than when I sleep at night in our bed and he said he would move the recliner into our room just so we can still "sleep together" so I'm not alone in the living room....I might have to take him up on that offer in a few weeks if sleeping laying down in bed starts getting too uncomfortable! It's starting to warm up like crazy and I'm still avoiding any swelling in my feet and hands plus I can get my wedding ring on and off so between drinking a ton of water and staying active, I hope to avoid as much swelling/puffiness as I can! The other latest thing is Paisley and her obsession with snuggling up right around my bump and laying on my belly. Whenever I get home and as soon as I sit down in the recliner, she jumps up and gets all curled up around my bump and then naps there with me when I nap! It's so cute and it's like she is already bonding with Peanut!

BIG offer day!

Someone better pinch me quick because I think I must be dreaming today..... this has been a very special and incredible day! SO much good news, so much relief, and so much excitement! I don't really even know where to start...so I guess I just jump right in! A week or so ago, Jordan was in the office at school and happened to be in the right place at the right time because the principle walked in and started making conversation with another teacher who inquired about any teaching positions opening up. There just so happened to be a 5th/6th grade math/science class that she thought would be opening....so this kind teacher quickly introduced Jordan to the principle! And they got to chatting and exchanged contact information then a few days later, Jordan was approached to set up an interview! He had the initial phone interview and then they set up an in-person interview so we both had a pretty good feeling about things but didn't want to rely on it and get our hopes up just to be disappointed. So Jordan had the in-person interview today.....and 45 minutes later, they called him back and offered him the job!!! AHHH!!! Jordan is officially a real full-time employed teacher and I could not be happier!! He is truly so deserving of this and works so hard for everything...for our family and for himself to make things happen and to be a better person every day. He is amazing and he is going to be an incredible teacher! Those kids are so lucky to have him for their teacher and I can't wait to see him inspire all of his students and staff members as well. I'm so proud of him and admire his patience to stick out the job hunt while applying for several jobs without hearing back. I know it can get discouraging but he always stayed positive and that is one thing I really love about him!

The other big news is that I have received an internship offer from the University of Iowa Children's Hospital to complete a Child Life internship....starting in about 2ish weeks so that I can be done before Peanut is born!! My supervisor paged me before I left work and said, "we need to talk before you leave for the day." so I was of course freaking out and was immediately paranoid. When she offered me an internship position, it was really the LAST thing I was expecting! I had sort of written that idea off because I knew doing one in the fall wasn't going to happen and doing one in the spring seemed unrealistic with a new baby at home! And they are being so accommodating by letting me start now, mid-summer, and be done by mid-September. They told me, "kids in hospitals need people like you there by their side to support them and help them. We can see your potential and we don't want that to go to waste just because you didn't get certified." I feel so incredibly lucky and thankful for this opportunity!! I have always said how I work with some amazing kids and family...but I also work with some pretty amazing specialists and they are awesome for helping make this happen for me! 

Tonight we will be celebrating with some 312...oh wait. Well, Jordan will be celebrating with some 312 and I will enjoy a virgin strawberry margarita! I'm so happy that things are finally, FINALLY, starting to fall into place for us. Both of these things takes a huuuge weight off my shoulders and I'm thankful to have some of our prayers answered. Things are definitely looking up and looking great! 

A Memorial Day Weekend To Remember

Happy Memorial Day everyone! Jordan and I are back home from our weekend long adventure in Lansing at the Red Barn Resort! And like always, it didn't disappoint. Even though it was rainy for the majority of the weekend, we still got one perfect night for a bon fire and playing bags! Then we spent a lot of time playing cards, chatting, and just soaking up each other's company and loving every minute of it! It's rare that my Dad ever gets a weekend away with just us kids so while it would have been fun to have my mom there too, it was great to have some bonding time with just him.....and I'm sure he loved being harassed by his kids all weekend too! Even Paisley got to enjoy the fresh outdoors and spend some time off leash just running around, rolling in God knows what, and just enjoying being a dog. Good thing she was treated for ticks/fleas before we left because otherwise I'm sure she would be infested with them now! Ah and I can't forget about all of the good home cooking that we were all spoiled with all weekend from my grandma! I don't know how she does it, but she makes THE BEST bacon and eggs. Seriously, they are so sooo good and to die for (probably because of all the grease, ha!) but they are delicious and worth waking up for because no one wants to miss breakfast when Grandma is doing the cooking! We finished off the weekend with the annual trip up to the top of Mount Hosmer to show the kids the view and get some pics of it all. It's hard to believe that I have been going to good ol' Lansing and the Red Barn Resort since I was in diapers....such a special place for our family and it has so many memories! I hope we get the chance to return next summer with our own little Peanut to keep the tradition going! Now it's back to reality but at least it is only a 4-day work week! Hope you all had a fun and special Memorial day weekend!

it was a tad rainy and foggy at the top of Mount Hosmer

Dad and the trifecta of the Cross kids

3 generations....love my Dad and Grandma!
(4 generations if you count Peanut!)

and as always, these two in matching sweatshirts...

Happy 2nd Birthday, Paisley!!

Happy 2nd Birthday, Paisley!

You are the sweetest and craziest pup ever!

You bring laughter to our lives every day and we can't imagine a life without you now.

You make the best little spoon and you are always down to cuddle.

I hope you and Peanut get along and that you enjoy your new playmate! 

But don't worry, I'll always find time for cuddling with you 

and we will still spoil you like crazy!

not so happy about her birthday hat...
but it's a once a year tradition!

all birthday celebrated out

Friday Funnies - 5.3.13

So apparently living in Iowa means that April showers brings MAY SNOW AND RAIN STORMS!!! Whatever pissed off Mother Nature, I wish she would get over it and bring on the Spring weather all ready! Just a few days ago it was the high 80's and now the past two days, I have been wearing my winter coat! I can't handle all of these abrupt changes in the weather! Today since it was so rainy and gloomy out, it made for the perfect napping weather...so after working my half-day of four hours at the hospital, I came home to lounge with Jordan, snuggle with Paisley and get a nap in. Which then lasted for four hours but it was fantastic! That's my kind of perfect 8-hour work day! The rest of the weekend looks like it's supposed to be gloomy and rainy so that should help be motivation to study and get to work on my last few projects for the school year. So happy to almost be done for the semester...for good! Can't wait for all the fun festivities we have planned coming up this summer so I just want the nice weather that goes along with it all! Have a good weekend and make the most of it!

image via Google
This is the battle between Jordan and Paisley....every night.
And it makes me laugh so hard....every night.

Need work on your car? Call this guy!

shift it shift in forward! shift it shift it in reverse!

porch time with Paisley

loving today and tomorrow's forecast...
Friday's forecast through the weekend? Not so much.

mmmm a delicious (and super healthy!) snack and relaxing with my girl

It feels like it is summer. The temps are in the high 80s, the sun has been shining bright all day and there is the slightest breeze. Why can't the weather be like this year round?! Since the forecast takes a giant turn downhill as on Thursday night, Paisley and I took full advantage of the nice weather that we had for the day! I mean, there is SNOW in the forecast for Friday and then rain for FIVE DAYS STRAIGHT?!!! What the heck is that crap?! It is almost May! Ughh soo ready for nice warm and sunny summer weather! Paisley chewed on her bone and patrolled the neighborhood while I munched on some carrots, cucumbers, green peppers, pita slices and cheese with some hummus for dipping! I also made myself a frozen drink that was only a raspberry lemonade but it was still refreshing none the less...even more enjoyable drinking it out of a margarita glass! I'm hoping tomorrow stays as nice as they say it is going to so that Paisley and I can enjoy a long walk together and more porch time relaxing! 

Friday Funnies - 4.5.13

Wow! Well it has definitely been quite the exciting and eventful week around here to say the least! We have completely went public with our news about Baby E by posting the announcement and by updating all of the weekly pictures onto my blog. It has been so fun and heartwarming that's for sure! So many people love and support us and are sooo excited for the arrival of Baby E. That just adds to our excitement and we can't wait! Things are good so far and I hope they continue to be this great! Anyway, it's Friday, whoop whoop!!! Jordan is working at the golf course this weekend since it is officially golf weather so he's going to be busy working there tomorrow and Sunday! Looks like plenty of time for me and Paisley to get some chores done around the house, snuggling watching some movies and caught up on school work! I love lazy weekends! Next weekend we are heading up to Madison to be with my family and I FINALLY get to see my parents! Ahhh! I haven't seen my Dad since November and my mom since February....super crappy! So I'm bursting at the seams with excitement knowing I get to see them in one week!!!!! Hope you all have a fantastic weekend and do something that you enjoy with people you love!

image via Pinterest
well I WAS going to be productive this week but since our big announcement, my phone and Facebook have been blowing up!

who's your favorite? mom? or dad?

smart girl to say Mom is her favorite... :)

Happy Easter!

Happy Easter! I hope you all had a wonderful weekend full of some fun family time and possibly enjoying some nice Spring weather! Jordan and I hung out with his family, ate some delicious home cooked food and watched some basketball games and I actually got a lot of school work done! These last few weeks of the semester always seem to be the busiest so it's go time for studying and cranking out some papers and getting ready for finals! And I can't believe it will be April already tomorrow, wow! Hope the start of the month is a good one for all of you!

Oooh BABY!!!

First comes love... Then comes marriage... Then comes...


BABY EASTON!!!!

Jordan and I (along with Paisley, of course!) are so sooo excited to announce that we are officially expecting Baby E's arrival in October of 2013! Eeeek! I have known since the last week of January so it has been a long couple of weeks keeping this underwraps so I'm relieved to finally be able to share our secret with everyone! 

Jordan has been taking a weekly "bump" picture of me so that will be a new weekly post as well, "My bump, my bump, my lovely baby bump!" and while there isn't much for a bump yet, I know there will be in a few weeks or maybe sooner! As far as how I have been feeling? Well, great actually! I never had any morning sickness (or afternoon/night sickness like some women get) and the few times I did feel nauseous, as soon as I ate something, it went away! My face has been breaking out and my emotions have been off the charts, like I'm talking tears over anything and everything, so hopefully once my emotions start leveling off in the next 1-2 weeks, that will all start to calm down! 

I can't wait to share our journey with you all and experience this with the my best friend and husband! I remember the night I told Jordan I was pregnant, I was already crying and he just looked at me with a big smile on his face that nothing could have wiped off and he gave me a big bear hug and said, "You know, everything is going to be ok. We are going to be parents and this is going to be incredible. I love you so much." Here's to our most exciting and crazy adventure together yet! 

Now since I had to wait so long to go public with this news (didn't want to jinx anything!), that means I'm going to be behind in my weekly picture! So to play catch up, I'm going to do a big overload of the past weekly pictures now so that by next week, I'm caught up and on track instead of being behind! 

the day I found out....so many emotions!

the official start to my photojournal "from bump to baby!"

sad vacay is over but happy to be home!

We made it back home to Iowa!! After was seemed like the longest hours in the car of the entire trip, we finally made it back home all alive and in one piece! It was a tiring drive home after having two early mornings back to back but definitely worth it since we got back home early enough in the afternoon.I was being entertained on the drive home by Jordan sending me really cute and funny pictures of Paisley! Everyone planned to go to dinner together at Cactus but my body had a different plan. Once I got home, I laid down on the couch and started telling Jordan different stories from the trip then he took Paisley out to go the bathroom. In that short 5-10 minute span, I fell asleep and stayed asleep for almost four hours so by the time I woke up, the group dinner was long over and I had missed it but the nap was definitely much needed! I’m sure we will all have a reunion again in the near future and I’m lucky I got to spend such an incredible week with an amazing group of girls and friends!
             
High of the day: getting back home to Jordan and Paisley…I definitely really missed both of them throughout the week!
             
Low of the day: realizing the amazing vacation and experience I just had is truly over! Now I’m reliving it all through my journal and the pictures!

on the road and halfway there!

We left this morning around 7:00am and drove all the way to Macon, Georgia! Jordan and Paisley dropped me off and after plenty of hugs and kisses, I finally said goodbye and hopped in the van to start my spring break! I somehow managed to pack all of my stuff into one duffle bag and filled a tote bag with snacks, my Nook, and some yarn to make a few arm knitted scarves! Jess and I kept each other pretty entertained on the drive while everyone else was sleeping and we each made our own scarf then read some of the book “The Spirit Catches You and You Fall Down” that’s required for our seminar course. Turns out talking to each other and snacking is a lot more entertaining than reading that book! We stopped somewhere along the way for lunch at Subway where I witnessed a lady get ice out of the ice machine with her hands then wash her hands with the ice….and then she walked away like it was completely normal. Must be something they do in Tennessee I guess but it was quite the sight! It was nice finally getting to Georgia and being able to lay down for the night before we make the rest of the drive to Florida tomorrow! I can’t wait to be in the nice warm weather and finally get to experience Give Kids The World for myself instead of just hearing stories about it and seeing pictures!

arm knitting at its finest!
our scarves turned out pretty cute!

what a realization...

Today I was looking at my closet as I was trying to pack and get ready for my trip and to leave on Saturday...when I realized something pretty strange but incredible. When I leave on Saturday, I will be gone until the following Saturday so for a full week... and in the past 3+ years that Jordan and I have been together, this will be the longest time that we have spent apart from each other. What?! That's just crazy talk! I can't wait for my trip and I know it is going to be an incredible experience but I'm definitely going to be missing him and Miss Paisley! Good thing we are having a date night tomorrow before I leave first thing on Saturday!