Off to the pumpkin patch we go!

fall family fun!

the cutest pumpkin in the patch!

Today was a perfect fall day here! So we took advantage of it and went to a local apple orchard and pumpkin patch! Jordan picked out a pumpkin to carve for Halloween and I took some sweet pictures of Everly. My mom and I propped her up in an apple basket and she slept (like a baby!) the whole time so she made it really easy to get some super cute shots...At one point, another woman walked by and said, "oh my gosh that's the cutest thing ever! That's not even my baby and I want to take a picture!" I love fall activities like this and can see it becoming a family tradition of ours each year! Hope you all had a wonderful weekend as well and got to enjoy some fall activities! 

one month of Mommyhood

Ever since having Everly, I am constantly hearing the same questions: "how are you doing? how is she sleeping and eating? how is Motherhood treating you? how are Jordan and Paisley adjusting?" It seems like everyone is always wanting to know the latest and then when I answer, they look at me with a raised eyebrow and surprised look on their face. When I answer them, "I'm doing great and feeling awesome! Everly sleeps almost 4-5 hours at a time usually and she eats like a rockstar. Jordan helps with nightly feedings on the weekends and after school...and Paisley is still crazy but just sniffs Everly, lays on her blankets, and doesn't ever try to bother Everly. I think they'll be fast friends and will get into lots of trouble together" it's like they are really surprised, think I'm totally full of it, or look at me like I'm delirious from lack of sleep and living in a dreamworld! So as I think back to the first month of Everly's life, I definitely realize that I am in fact not living in a dreamworld, but I am lucky that we are all living the way we are. 

This first month has went by incredibly fast - and doesn't everyone always say that, to enjoy them when they're young because they grow up way too fast?! And it's true. I can't believe Everly is already a month old! This month has been nothing short of emotional, overwhelming, incredible, challenging, inspiring, and more all at the same time. I am constantly learning something new about either myself, Jordan, or Everly, and how we all work together as one family unit. Everyone also always says how much your life will change once you have a baby and that is definitely true but I have been pretty surprised so far at how much it hasn't changed yet. Before Everly was born, I always envisioned Jordan and I walking around as zombies, never leaving the house, living off of take-out meals, not watching our shows, and just living a complete 360-different life than what we had been living. The changes that have happened because of Everly joining our family are all worth it, some expected and some unexpected, but definitely worth it. In one month, in the blink of our eyes, I've learned that there's nothing more exhilarating and terrifying than becoming a parent for the first time.

1. I will always be on Everly's side and her biggest supporter - I quickly learned while staying with Everly in the NICU that there is nothing more important than standing up for your own child, giving them a voice, and fighting for them. There were some nurses, physicians, and other hospital staff that would want do to things one way and I would say we are doing it another way that I knew would be more beneficial and helpful to her. I had to stand up for her to several hospital staff members and make sure things were done in a way that would make her feel safe and comforted. It's because of all of this, that I know now if you don't support your child and fight for them, then no one will. So Everly can always count on me to be there for her.

2. I can function off of very little sleep - At times I feel like I have reverted back to my undergrad days when I would stay up until 2 or 3 in the morning and then go a whole day on 4-5 hours of sleep. I don't walk around feeling like a zombie and Jordan and I still make time to watch our TV shows together...if it wasn't for his help and help from my parents, I might be a zombie though! We are lucky to have a baby who is a good sleeper and gives us 3-5 hours at a time of sleeping so we can sneak in a shower, some chores, a nap, or just time to sleep the whole time while she does!

3. It's important to be present in the moment - It's easy to get sucked into something and completely absorbed by a TV show, surfing the internet, playing games on a cell phone, or whatever else it might be...that it's easy to not let yourself be present. I used to spend hours each night clicking between Facebook, Pinterest, baby blogs, and various other websites and now that Everly is here, I find myself opening my computer maybe two or three times in a week total. I don't sit on the couch anymore with my phone or computer reading different things...instead I'm sitting on the couch, while feeding Everly or snuggling with her, and I find myself just staring at her, playing with her fingers, rubbing her cheeks, running my fingers over her head and hair, and just getting lost in her. When I do get on my computer or phone, it's usually very brief (have to keep my blog and Facebook up to date with pictures and everything for people!) and then I find myself reading articles about babies or finding the next craft project I can do with Everly. I know too many parents who have lost their babies...time with our kids is too precious and something that can't be taken for granted. 

4. I need my mom - Plain and simple, I never knew how much I needed my own mom until I became one myself. Not only that, but I have a huge new found respect for all mom's out there. If my mom wasn't living here with us, I am pretty sure that I would probably call her everyday and some days probably more than once! She has helped me out in countless ways right from the beginning of the pregnancy to the first few hours after Everly was born. She has given me advice, suggestions, and constant love and support at all times, and often times before I even ask for it. I feel comfortable asking her anything and she doesn't make me feel stupid or inferior. She has helped me to gain confidence in my skills as I become a mother and I'd be lost without her by my side through this journey. There's nothing like a mom's loving and I'm thankful to have an awesome one in my life and can only hope to become the same kind of mom to Everly. My mom is one of my closest friends and I hope that when Everly is my age, she can say the same thing about the two of us. 

5. Jordan and I aren't perfect parents (or people) but we are the perfect parents for Everly - Jordan and I have quickly learned from each other that we do things different from one another when it comes to taking care of Everly and I have had to learn that it is okay. As long as she gets fed, changed, has a clean diaper on, get some loving and snuggling, then it doesn't matter how it gets done. I had a head start on bonding with Everly for close to 8 months before she was born so Jordan has had to play catch up. I have had to learn to become even more patient with Jordan as he navigates his way through becoming a dad and working together with him as parents and as a the husband and wife team that we are. I love watching him connect with Everly and just in a month, I have seen him gain confidence when it comes to holding her and taking care of her. And I know there have been times where he has seen me not be fully prepared for something or not react quick enough and that's okay too. We both know we aren't perfect and we are both there for each other, even in the middle of the night when we wish all three of us were sleeping, but I wouldn't choose anyone else to go through this adventure of parenthood besides Jordan. He's the perfect husband for me and the perfect daddy for Everly.


I'm sure I could go on and on about what I have learned, what's different, what's the best and worst part of parenthood, and advice for future parents out there. But I have a beautiful baby and husband to snuggle up with for the night. But the more I think about it, the more things I realize that I have learned and discovered in the past month. Some things have changed and some things have stayed the same. A new chapter of our lives together has started and as we are closing in on month one, it sure has been a beautiful one. We have a new normal as a family of three (plus one crazy fur baby!) and we will make the most of our time together and love every minute of it. And maybe that's the most important thing I've learned in the past month: if you don't make time for those you love, then you can't be mad when it slips away. So make time for one more kiss. One more hug. One more book to read at night. One more snuggle. One more "I love you." And this past month has been full of nothing but love for us. And for that, I am forever thankful.

surprising (to me at least!) things about having a baby...

I'm a huge researcher. And worrier. And I'll just throw this out there, Google is not my friend when I have any sort of aliment. Therefore, I try to read anything and everything I can to know anything and everything about whatever I am wondering about. Before I had Everly, I was always flipping through a baby book - sidebar: thanks but no thanks for the advice What To Expect When You're Expecting...you should be titled What to Expect But Will Not Happen and Instead You'll Waste Precious Time and Energy Worrying About The Worst Case Scenarios When You're Expecting (and I digress. The book has some good info. But it was not THE book I would say every pregnant woman should read. There are several out there that are way better!) So if I wasn't flipping through a book, I was browsing websites and blogs or always asking friends questions about labor, recovery, baby items, and just baby stuff in general. I wanted to know everything because I hate the unknown. Because quite frankly, after our childbirth class, the thought of delivering a baby terrified me. I felt informed but still nervous. Thankfully, I survived to tell the tale and am happy to report that I was pleasantly surprised with how well I handled everything especially since we were thrown into the whirlwind by Everly deciding to arrive six weeks early...

1. the return to pre-pregnancy weight and size: I read several articles, talked to a lot of friends, and saw plenty of post-baby pictures (both at the hospital and of families at home) that led me to believe it would be weeks, possibly months, before I would be wearing pants with zippers again let alone my own pre-pregnancy pants with zippers. Of course, the first few days at the hospital after having Everly and when I stayed there in the NICU with her, I lived in yoga pants and sweats. Comfort is key those first few days - especially when hanging out in the hospital. But imagine my surprise when I got brave and tried on a pair of skinny jeans I had (because as I told Jordan, "I just want to see how much work I have cut out for me...") and they fit. Not only fit, but fit comfortably! I stepped on the scale for the first time a week after Everly was born and was only 9 pounds away from my pre-pregnancy weight and a month after, I am back down to my pre-pregnancy weight. It helped how in shape and toned I was before getting pregnant combined with how active I was while pregnant. I walked EVERYDAY no less than 5 miles and some days up to 8 miles. I never let being pregnant be an excuse from staying active and I always let it be an excuse to eat extra fruits and vegetables. I will definitely be rocking my two-piece swim suit still next summer! 

2. stretch marks: speaking of two-piece swim suits, stretch marks are a funny thing and they say a lot of it is based on genetics. If you're wondering if you'll get them, ask your mom. Typically, "they" (whoever "they" are anyway) say that no amount of lotion or creams or fancy clothes or whatever will keep stretch marks away...the lotion and cream will just help your skin to feel moisturized and not make it as itchy. So of course I turned to my mom who said she got stretch marks and still has them so I was fully prepared to get them myself. I lotioned myself up morning and night anyway with cocoa butter and never got even the smallest hint of a stretch mark. Of course, I'm sure this would be a different story if I had gone full-term with Everly because I could tell my skin and stomach were feeling pretty tight those last few days. So I'll be interested to see if I make it stretch mark free the next time I'm pregnant.. But to those women that did get stretch marks, embrace them because you created a life and lived through it. And that is a beautiful thing. 

3. the epidural: I had always told myself and Jordan, "I'm not going into the hospital or labor and getting an epidural right away. I'm going to try and last as long as I can without one and maybe do the whole thing without it entirely." Jordan was fully prepared to help me through labor thanks to the techniques and everything we had learned from our class and I had some breathing/relaxation techniques for myself to work through while contracting. Thankfully, when we got to the hospital I was already 4cm dilated and my labor progressed so quickly, that by the time I was ready to start dropping F bombs and was ready to throw in the towel, I was almost 7cm dilated when I finally caved and asked for the epidural. And honestly, contracting while trying to hold still and stay in the "curled shrimp shape" was significantly worse than the actual needle and epidural placement itself. I was more focused on holding still and breathing so the doctor could get it over with so I could get back up and have some water then catch my breath.

4. labor pains: Like I've said, I was one of the lucky ones who had a very quick labor and who went to the hospital already in active labor. I didn't have to be induced or hooked up to an IV and monitors allllll day, or have any interventions to help my labor progress. Contractions are painful, yes. But Jordan and my midwife helped talk me through them and would remind me, "just take it one contraction at a time." Between each one, I would try to relax and drink some water....and not stare at the monitor in anticipation of the next one coming. Once it came time to push, my adrenaline definitely took over combined with the epidural's help, because I mainly only felt a lot of pressure like I was going to poop on the table (and thankfully, I didn't haha). I didn't have any sort of shot or extra numbing "down there" either so maybe I have a higher pain tolerance than I thought. And it helps that Everly was head down and had been since about 28 weeks so she was already locked and loaded in prime birthing position and her small size helped as well. 

5. bleeding: yes, there will be blood. But not in the amounts that the books and blogs that I had read made it seem like. I was expecting a lot more honestly, like in the amount that I'd wonder if I even had any left in my body, so I was surprised at how it really wasn't that bad or that much. Just like a really heavy period for the first day or two, for me at least, and then just a normal spotty period after that for about 7-10 days. I didn't have to wear the gigantic middle school style maxi pads for long which was a plus because it isn't very enjoyable to feel (and sound!) like you're wearing a diaper yourself while taking care of your own baby...

6. after labor pains: again, thanks to the reading and research I did, I had prepared myself for the worst and thought I would be walking bow-legged and not able to sit comfortably for weeks. Turns out I was up walking around, hugging people, and laughing like normal within 2 hours after having Everly. The worst pain was the cramping while breastfeeding and pumping. I had been warned about that but didn't expect it to be that bad but it was still bearable...I had been told it was a "good sign" if you were crampy while breastfeeding and that would help the uterus to go down to it's regular size quicker. The little squirt water bottle and witch hazel pads the hospital supplied me with were also a huge help. Along with the pain meds my nurse gave me. I only took them (tylenol and ibuprofen) for the first 3-4 days after delivery and then didn't have any after that. I'd say I bounced back quicker than I thought I would but I think a part of that had to do with living in the NICU with Everly and that I had mentally blocked out my own pain because I needed to be mentally present and physically aware of her needs and helping her get home sooner that I didn't have time to "be in pain and recover." I was definitely uncomfortable at times those first few days but seeing my baby and holding her really makes it all go away and worth it all like everyone always says. 

7. breastfeeding: I was signed up to take a breastfeeding class the second week of September...obviously Jordan and I didn't make it to that. So I was all sorts of nervous about breastfeeding because that was one of the things I hadn't done much reading or researching on yet since I figured we would have the class to get information from! Thankfully, I had some awesome nurses that gave me all sorts of advices, tips, and support those first few days. Everly latched on right away and we haven't looked back. It is a weird feeling but not a painful one...but it is a really awesome feeling looking at my baby and knowing that she is gaining weight because of me and the milk I'm providing for her. It is crazy to think that's all she is eating and how much I am helping her out by giving her breast milk!

8. engorgement: speaking of breastfeeding, engorgement is no joke. While at the hospital, they recommended I pump every 3-4 hours to help increase my supply and to give stimulation to encourage a good supply. I remember the first few days only pumping 10-15mL total and thinking I had accomplished a lot...then one morning, I woke up with rock hard boobs. And pumped almost 3oz total. And now I look back on that and laugh because there are times in a day now when I can pump 12oz total and yes that is in one sitting! My family jokes that I am a human milk machine and I'm starting to believe it...in less than 6 weeks, I have over 400oz of frozen breast milk stored and ready for when I go back to my internship. Thankfully, the initial engorgement period doesn't last for long and I get why some women give up on breastfeeding then and there. Because that makes it hurt! But it only ever hurts and feels like that now if I go too long between feedings or pumping without doing something about it...which means it's usually time to feed or pump again. If Everly doesn't wake up crying and ready to eat, then my boobs wake me up saying it's time to eat or pump!

9. going with the flow of (unplanned) things: I like to consider myself a huge planner. I like to have things lined up, ready to go, and be organized. And no matter how much you can plan for your baby's birth, you can't plan for the unexpected. Babies come when they are ready to, and that can mean a few weeks early, right on time, or even a week late. Usually if they're an early arrival, that means (in our case at least), that some decisions that have to be made at the hospital haven't really been decided upon or made yet. Like, do to the eye cream or to not do the eye cream? To delay cord clamping for 2 minutes or clamp right away? To have the baby get the Vitamin K shot right away or wait 24 hours? There are a lot of important decisions that parents have to make for their baby shortly after delivery and if the decisions aren't made by the parents, then the medical staff will make those decisions for the parent and baby. Since Everly was taken to the NICU within 10 minutes after she was born, Jordan and I didn't have the option to make a lot of choices. I had wanted to do delay cord clamping but since she was born so early and was small, we didn't have that option. I didn't want to do the eye cream right away but since she was in the NICU (and we didn't clarify a few things ahead of time), the nurses did that and gave her antibiotics right away anyway. And all of that was okay with me. Because at that moment, I trusted our medical team and that they were making the best decisions for my baby when I wasn't there to make those decisions for her. I learned quickly in those first few days that when it comes to having a baby, you have to just go with the flow of the unplanned things and trust that everything will have a way of working itself out for the best. 

10. the instant love I felt when I first saw Everly: in one word, it was indescribable. I couldn't even cry because I felt so overwhelmed with love, happiness, and joy. It took a few minutes for the tears which even surprised me, but they were the happiest tears I have ever cried. I have never felt more proud to say, "it's a girl!" and to look at Jordan and tell him he has a daughter. Those first few moments the three of us had together will forever be in my memory and one that no one or nothing can ever take away. I didn't ever know I could feel a love like this until now. It's like a part of me and my heart had never been touched and now it is open and overflowing with love and happiness. I could just stare at her all day long in between snuggling and loving on her. Everly is the greatest thing I have ever created and she is the biggest blessing in our lives. Everything in the post, the good, the bad, and the ugly (and painful), was 100% worth it all. Because at the end of it all, we have an incredibly beautiful and strong, healthy baby girl. 

back to Texas...but not for good!

This morning my mom flew back to Texas... She has been at the hospital with me every single day since Everly was born until this morning. Saying good-bye to her last night was a total downer BUT a huge positive because the next time I will see her and my dad again, they will be back in Iowa...and this time, it will be for good!!! To add to the craziness that the past week and a half has been, my parents put their house on the market and in five days, it sold! My dad was dealing with that and setting up house showings while my mom has been here with me...and not only did he sell their house, but he also accepted a new job in Cedar Rapids. Whoo hooo!!! So many happy tears all around and I am beyond excited to have them not only back in the midwest, but living within minutes away from me! There's no way I could have survived living in the NICU without my mom's constant support, encouragement, advice, love, and company. And there's no way I would survive motherhood without her (and my dad!) nearby as well because I know they will always be here for me and Jordan and our kids no matter what. And that's the greatest kind of love to feel and I'm lucky we have that in our lives. We'll be seeing you again soon, Grandma and Grandpa!

a special week long visit from my parents!

Today my parents got here after making the long drive up from Texas! And I'm so happy they are here to visit this week and stay through the weekend for our baby shower! My mom is a master organizer and she will definitely be tons of help to get our new place organized and looking more like a home rather than a giant storage space. I can't wait for it to be decluttered and get rid of some of the boxes! I'm also looking forward to just spending some time with Jordan and my parents because it's rare that we ever get them alone rather than having the whooole family together but I am pretty excited for all of us to be together this weekend!

Welcome to 25

Whoever said turning 25 is a bad thing? And why do people always say, "wow now you're closer to 30 than 20!" like it's such a bad thing! I am gladly welcoming turning 25 with open arms and if this past weekend was any indicator as to how the rest of the year is going to go, then I know it will be a good one! Janelle got to town late Friday night and right from her bus, we went downtown for some early birthday celebrating. What started out as "just a few drinks," turned into staying out until bar close, going to aftie's with some friends, a trip to Wal-Mart at 4am for wings and fries...and of course, The Hunger Games on blu-ray!!!! Needless to say, it was a fantastic start to the weekend! Saturday we got to Des Moines and hit up the State Fair for some drinks, people watching and fried food before the concert. Fried pickles and beer were a huge hit. So soooo good!!! Then we headed into the concert... It. Was. Awesome. Loverboy went on first then Pat Benatar came on stage and totally rocked it. Jordan and Scott got a kick out of how many of her songs that Janelle and I knew! I mean, who doesn't know "Heartbreaker" and "Hit Me With Your Best Shot!" Throw back 80s jams are the best! And then the real entertainment of the night hit the stage....JOURNEY!!! They were amazing! I am not sure if any of us stopped singing and dancing and rocking out right with them and everyone else there! The best songs were definitely "Faithfully" and of course, "Don't Stop Believing"....they ended the song with confetti and streamers blasting everywhere! Epic concert and we all loved every minute of it. Big shoutout to my parents for the tickets for all of us! It was a blast for the 5 pack to be together so thank you for the fun outing!!!!

early birthday celebration!

Sisters at Brothers!

State Fair Fun!

Awesome electric guitar solo playing
The National Anthem!

Don't Stop Believing!!!

The Fab Five!

Eeeek It's Wedding Week!!!

Well, it's wedding week.

My parents get to town on Wednesday!

My sister gets to town on Thursday!

All of our best friends and wedding party get here Friday for the rehearsal dinner and pre-celebration party!

And we are getting married on Saturday!!!!!!!!!! Ahhhh!!!!!

I can't wait for what's about to be the most amazing, entertaining, fun-filled, awesome, and memorable week and especially weekend of my whole life! Ready or not Jordan, we're walking down that aisle and saying "I Do!" in 5 short days!!!!