Ever since having Everly, I am constantly hearing the same questions: "how are you doing? how is she sleeping and eating? how is Motherhood treating you? how are Jordan and Paisley adjusting?" It seems like everyone is always wanting to know the latest and then when I answer, they look at me with a raised eyebrow and surprised look on their face. When I answer them, "I'm doing great and feeling awesome! Everly sleeps almost 4-5 hours at a time usually and she eats like a rockstar. Jordan helps with nightly feedings on the weekends and after school...and Paisley is still crazy but just sniffs Everly, lays on her blankets, and doesn't ever try to bother Everly. I think they'll be fast friends and will get into lots of trouble together" it's like they are really surprised, think I'm totally full of it, or look at me like I'm delirious from lack of sleep and living in a dreamworld! So as I think back to the first month of Everly's life, I definitely realize that I am in fact not living in a dreamworld, but I am lucky that we are all living the way we are.
This first month has went by incredibly fast - and doesn't everyone always say that, to enjoy them when they're young because they grow up way too fast?! And it's true. I can't believe Everly is already a month old! This month has been nothing short of emotional, overwhelming, incredible, challenging, inspiring, and more all at the same time. I am constantly learning something new about either myself, Jordan, or Everly, and how we all work together as one family unit. Everyone also always says how much your life will change once you have a baby and that is definitely true but I have been pretty surprised so far at how much it hasn't changed yet. Before Everly was born, I always envisioned Jordan and I walking around as zombies, never leaving the house, living off of take-out meals, not watching our shows, and just living a complete 360-different life than what we had been living. The changes that have happened because of Everly joining our family are all worth it, some expected and some unexpected, but definitely worth it. In one month, in the blink of our eyes, I've learned that there's nothing more exhilarating and terrifying than becoming a parent for the first time.
1. I will always be on Everly's side and her biggest supporter - I quickly learned while staying with Everly in the NICU that there is nothing more important than standing up for your own child, giving them a voice, and fighting for them. There were some nurses, physicians, and other hospital staff that would want do to things one way and I would say we are doing it another way that I knew would be more beneficial and helpful to her. I had to stand up for her to several hospital staff members and make sure things were done in a way that would make her feel safe and comforted. It's because of all of this, that I know now if you don't support your child and fight for them, then no one will. So Everly can always count on me to be there for her.
2. I can function off of very little sleep - At times I feel like I have reverted back to my undergrad days when I would stay up until 2 or 3 in the morning and then go a whole day on 4-5 hours of sleep. I don't walk around feeling like a zombie and Jordan and I still make time to watch our TV shows together...if it wasn't for his help and help from my parents, I might be a zombie though! We are lucky to have a baby who is a good sleeper and gives us 3-5 hours at a time of sleeping so we can sneak in a shower, some chores, a nap, or just time to sleep the whole time while she does!
3. It's important to be present in the moment - It's easy to get sucked into something and completely absorbed by a TV show, surfing the internet, playing games on a cell phone, or whatever else it might be...that it's easy to not let yourself be present. I used to spend hours each night clicking between Facebook, Pinterest, baby blogs, and various other websites and now that Everly is here, I find myself opening my computer maybe two or three times in a week total. I don't sit on the couch anymore with my phone or computer reading different things...instead I'm sitting on the couch, while feeding Everly or snuggling with her, and I find myself just staring at her, playing with her fingers, rubbing her cheeks, running my fingers over her head and hair, and just getting lost in her. When I do get on my computer or phone, it's usually very brief (have to keep my blog and Facebook up to date with pictures and everything for people!) and then I find myself reading articles about babies or finding the next craft project I can do with Everly. I know too many parents who have lost their babies...time with our kids is too precious and something that can't be taken for granted.
4. I need my mom - Plain and simple, I never knew how much I needed my own mom until I became one myself. Not only that, but I have a huge new found respect for all mom's out there. If my mom wasn't living here with us, I am pretty sure that I would probably call her everyday and some days probably more than once! She has helped me out in countless ways right from the beginning of the pregnancy to the first few hours after Everly was born. She has given me advice, suggestions, and constant love and support at all times, and often times before I even ask for it. I feel comfortable asking her anything and she doesn't make me feel stupid or inferior. She has helped me to gain confidence in my skills as I become a mother and I'd be lost without her by my side through this journey. There's nothing like a mom's loving and I'm thankful to have an awesome one in my life and can only hope to become the same kind of mom to Everly. My mom is one of my closest friends and I hope that when Everly is my age, she can say the same thing about the two of us.
5. Jordan and I aren't perfect parents (or people) but we are the perfect parents for Everly - Jordan and I have quickly learned from each other that we do things different from one another when it comes to taking care of Everly and I have had to learn that it is okay. As long as she gets fed, changed, has a clean diaper on, get some loving and snuggling, then it doesn't matter how it gets done. I had a head start on bonding with Everly for close to 8 months before she was born so Jordan has had to play catch up. I have had to learn to become even more patient with Jordan as he navigates his way through becoming a dad and working together with him as parents and as a the husband and wife team that we are. I love watching him connect with Everly and just in a month, I have seen him gain confidence when it comes to holding her and taking care of her. And I know there have been times where he has seen me not be fully prepared for something or not react quick enough and that's okay too. We both know we aren't perfect and we are both there for each other, even in the middle of the night when we wish all three of us were sleeping, but I wouldn't choose anyone else to go through this adventure of parenthood besides Jordan. He's the perfect husband for me and the perfect daddy for Everly.
I'm sure I could go on and on about what I have learned, what's different, what's the best and worst part of parenthood, and advice for future parents out there. But I have a beautiful baby and husband to snuggle up with for the night. But the more I think about it, the more things I realize that I have learned and discovered in the past month. Some things have changed and some things have stayed the same. A new chapter of our lives together has started and as we are closing in on month one, it sure has been a beautiful one. We have a new normal as a family of three (plus one crazy fur baby!) and we will make the most of our time together and love every minute of it. And maybe that's the most important thing I've learned in the past month: if you don't make time for those you love, then you can't be mad when it slips away. So make time for one more kiss. One more hug. One more book to read at night. One more snuggle. One more "I love you." And this past month has been full of nothing but love for us. And for that, I am forever thankful.
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