and may the odds be ever in my favor....

Well, here they are. All of my hard work and countless hours poured into my internship applications all sealed up and ready to go. The top picture is what my life has looked like for the past two weeks trying to get everything completely finalized and organized. I had a very systematic way of doing each application packet and I triple checked each envelope to make sure I had included everything. It was a great sigh of relief today as I mailed them off but now a whole other set of panic and anxiety has set in....there is SO much riding on the line for these internship applications. I have applied to 12 and all it takes is 1 offer. Just ONE! That is all I need and want! As of right now, this trumps any wedding stress and worries I ever went through because I knew the wedding was still going to happen no matter what. This is a whole other playing field! Well all I can do now is wait until I hear from each hospital and hope for the best and an interview to start with! I will be sleeping with all my fingers and toes crossed for the next four weeks and trying to keep my attitude positive about the next step of the internship process! Now it is definitely time for a drink and to relax for awhile...poor Jordan and Paisley have been getting the brunt of my stress and completely ignored for the past 48 hours as I was on edge and trying to finalize everything. Thankfully Jordan knew it wasn't anything personal and just the stress and nerves talking....I'm lucky he is so patient! Time to get a cold one and enjoy some snuggling to a movie as we enjoy this lazy weekend together!

It's so close it hurts!

Two weeks! Two weeks from today and we will be sailing away enjoying paradise on our honeymoon trip!!! AHHHH!!!! You can do anything for two weeks, right?!! These next two weeks are going to be chaos for both me and Jordan but we have no choice but to power through it all. And the reward that we have waiting for us at the end of the two weeks is totally worth it all! Jordan has his final two weeks of student teaching, yipeee!!! And then has to present his teaching portfolio and get everything lined up for his teaching position in the spring. I have to write two papers, grade projects and then take my final exams.....and get all of my internship stuff finalized and ready to be mailed. It is all consuming me and I am trying to not become a stressed-out-crazy-emotional-person but it is hard! The whole process is a huge time and money commitment and it makes me paranoid...there is so much riding on the line to not get an internship let alone an interview! BUT! Today, I am not going to worry about that! Because, like I said, it is two weeks away from our honeymoon and we absolutely cannot wait! Cheers to that!

no really, check the 'tude.

“I'm selfish, impatient and a little insecure. 

I make mistakes, I am out of control and at times hard to handle. 

But if you can't handle me at my worst, then you sure as hell don't deserve me at my best.” 

― Marilyn Monroe

Yes, Marilyn. You tell 'em. Just because someone has an opinion, an idea, a vision, a WHATEVER IT MIGHT BE, that you don't agree with, doesn't make that person selfish. It makes that person unique, an individual, and themselves. It makes that person different from everyone else and independent. It doesn't mean they are being rude, disrespectful and need to apologize. Someone should never have to apologize for having their own ideas and views that don't match up with another person. In this crazy world we live in, everyday we are manipulated into wearing or not wearing something, eating or drinking certain things or avoiding various foods and drinks, listen to this, don't watch that...blah blah freaking blah, the list could go on and on. What I'm saying is, everyday we as individuals are challenged. Do you want to conform to society and listen to everything thrown at you about what you should or shouldn't eat, drink, wear, watch, or read? Do what makes YOU happy. And fight like hell for it to stay happy. If this means pissing people off, being painfully honest or being downright blunt to people, then so be it. If the person challenging you truly cares and loves and understands you, they'll come around. Maybe eventually they'll just agree to disagree with you. If they don't, well then, later nerd. Because bottom line is, when push comes to shove, shoving back gets exhausting and in the end, you realize it isn't worth the effort.

check the 'tude.

Today is one of those days where all I want to do is reality check people. Everyone in my path could fall victim at any time. Of course, there's quite a few who are most definitely at the top of my list. And then there's those who just need to be slapped for saying something dumb. Like, "Ooh the papers were due today? Can I email it to you by like, ummm, Friday?" No kid, you can't. It's Tuesday and it's not my problem you can't read dates and figure out when stuff is due. Get it together. Seriously! I'm not even going down that road right now. Instead, I'm just going to keep listening to my Pandora playlist of showtunes and grade these awful, awful papers. Watch out today people, because you don't want to mess with me! Sass pants are on and they're not coming off anytime soon!